There are no households that have never been wracked by tempests. Everyone must have problems whether small or big, or also small problems made big. Even the household of the scholars. Do not think that all the households of the ulama or kiai must run smoothly without any obstacles. In fact, the Prophet's household.
There are so many stories and stories of ulama and pious people who have wives with less good temperament— may Allah give us a partner who can reassure – which can be found. However, in the face of these trials, they always prioritize wisdom. Even though their emotions are tested every time both when they are alone and in front of the audience.
They never get blood by spontaneously throwing the word talak. Even what they show is wisdom which is the fruit of the depth of knowledge. They were convinced that all of this was an opportunity to achieve merit and reward, and to merge all errors and sins. In fact, the scholars considered that such trials were a sign of integrity. Al-Ghazali in Ihya 'Ulum al-Din said:
الصبر على لسان النساء مما يمتحن به الأولياء
“Being patient from the words (painful) that come out of the mouths of the wives is one the trial of the saints. “(Ihya 'Ulumu al-Din, 2:49)
In line with Al-Ghazali, Shaykh Abd al-Wahhab Al-Sya'rani said in Lawaqih al-Anwar,
” My master teacher 'Ali Al-Khawwas once said: there is very little auliya' unless he has a wife who always hurts both his mouth and actions. “(Lawaqih al-Anwar: 261).
Be patient and yield to your wife is not humbling thing. That is not a sign that he is weak or a sign of unmanliness, as most humans think. But this is the morals of knowledgeable people and the depth of religion they have. The story below might be a pilot.
Mr. Professor Muhammad Shaykh Al-Rifa'I (born 500 H). He was a great scholar and was known as a guardian whose name is famous in all directions. A murshid and the founder of the familiar Al-Rifa'iyyah Congregation. His biography was found in many essays by scholars, such as Al-Thabaqat Al-Kubra (juz 1 p. 250) by Al-Sya'rani, Al-Kawakib (juz 2 p. 29) written by Al-Manawi, Syadzarat al-Dzahab (juz 6 p. 327), and so on.
One time his student dreamed that the Shaykh was sitting on the throne of shiddiqin but the disciple harboring and not telling the dream. Incidentally, Syaikh Al-Rifa'i had a wife who was rude in his words, often doing bad things also hurting him. On one occasion, the disciple sowan went to the Shaykh's house and saw the Shaykh's wife holding a cooking stove. Then the wife hit the Shaykh's back until his clothes blackened with the former charcoal from the cooking stove. But the Shaykh was only silent.
Not accepting seeing his teacher being treated arbitrarily, he provoked his friends. He said, “O friends, our teacher gets such treatment from a woman. Are you going to be quiet? “
” Mahar of our teacher's wife is 500 dinars, while he is devotee, “ said the other.
Then he collected that much money to free his teacher from that woman. Then the student came to Syaikh Al-Rifa'i by carrying 500 dinars in a small greeting. The Shaykh said, “What is this?”
“Change for dowry for the wife of the teacher who has treated the teacher badly,” replied the student.
Shaykh Al-Rifa'i smiled and said, “If not for my patience in dealing with blows or words, then you won't see me sitting on that throne. “
This article was previously posted on Bincangsyariah.com
This Article Was Published On : ISLAMI.CO
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